” Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”
– Proverbs 16:18 (KJV version)
I’m not a religious person but I still find some wisdom from the Bible since I was a kid.
I knew what it meant but never fully understood it ; or rather, I didn’t reflected much on it.
I still continued to be full of pride (without noticing it at all).
Never knew I had pride until I was in my last job.
My experience with pride is being eccentric but often involves stepping on others. Its like my mind feels superior to others in every sense; like I’m the main superhero:
I will make a bold and unique move that will shock everyone.
Then win againts a villain and will receive a reward for it.
Now writing this, I may have really misunderstood the reason behind superheroes.
I really don’t know if there is some pride left in me; but I knew that I left those in my last job.
I may also have some inferiority complex mixed in… but I’m not really sure.
It really is hard to recognize especially I grew up ignoring my emotions.
I really thought that supressing emotions is connected to becoming stronger… but I was wrong.
My way always end up backfiring at some point in my life.
I haven’t made something positive out of it but what I can say is that I’m at the beginning of something worth living the other part of my life.
It really is scary especially there are expectations from family on what my life should be.
The pressure is enough to make me feel intense emotions.
What I can do with those emotions is to get to know behind those emotions.
For now, I’m at the point where I would ask myself:
“What do you wake up for?”
