“What is the feeling of being lost?”

Hi community!
First time writing a blog and saying something out from my mind.
I’m a Filipino but a bit different.

Being a Filipino, one is expected to follow the norm…
attain the best of the best; have higher grades.
pursue what gives more benefits and money.
I know money is valuable but I know deep inside, life is much more than that.

Being raised in a typical filipino family, I felt I was different;
In the end though, I was trained to follow the norm.
My mind woke up when I turned 18; at the middle of my college days.
I felt lost and blamed the world for my suffering.
Acted like I know everything… more of a talker not a walker.
At the end of my bizzare attitude…. Ego and Pride got the best of me.

Now 23, I just quit my traditional 9-5 job.
feeling lost because it was my dream job of who I must be;
rather than who I really am.

Setting aside the story of my life, what is being lost?
lost is being in an ocean with no sight of land.
Feels like living everyday to survive.
Goals? living is one that I can think of.
Purpose? thinking of what I can provide value to others.

Being ambitious is out of my life now.
It gave me direction once but made me lost than I ever was.
I ask also passion to stop controlling me.
It made me do things I only just like to do at that moment.

Being these the normal (fundamental) of being a person.
why would I give these up?
In order for me to live, my dreams must die.

Dreams left we wandering in an illusional life.
Led me to chaos than clarity.
Now lost because I don’t know what will be the result.
I don’t have fantasy to guide me but…
All I know is my chains are gone;
I am free to live.

So as I end this little piece of my mind, this question always pops up in my mind:

“Who am I?”

There are many answers with solid evidence that I may say but this is my answer:

“I am free.”